https://odb.org/2026/10/01/gentle-answers-with-gods-help
Proverbs 15:1–6 (NIV): A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
3 The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.
4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.
5 A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.
6 The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings ruin.
“Close it up. I’ve seen enough.” Those were the words of an older, experienced beekeeper to me one afternoon when I was learning how to tend a hive. My movements had been quick and forceful. Even though I was trying to care for them, I was only making them angry. Today (years later), when I go into a hive, my motions are so much smoother that my wife tells me it almost looks like I’m dancing. Sometimes difficult conversations are like dancing with bees. When others are upset and emotions are tense, reacting angrily only makes matters worse. As King Solomon observed, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Responding kindly and peacefully to those who are irritated or unreasonable may take time to learn. But because gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit at work within us (see Galatians 5:22-23), with God’s help we can make progress in it. (James Banks, Our Daily Bread 1st October 2026)
I think we can all relate to Proverbs 15:1 that a gentle answer turns away wrath. Many great leaders are able to be calm and composed when faced with anger and loud words. In fact the mark of a leader is to be calm and composed when under pressure. In that sense I’m not a very good leader as I tend to get overly-excited speaking and sometimes when in a bad mood, I easily get agitated. So I can quickly get into a quarrel with my wife – she will blast me back when my tone is off. Fortunately, we reconcile quickly but it’s a personal weakness that has followed me throughout my life, from young till I’m an older man now.
James Banks’ piece in ODB this morning takes this point further. He postulates for gentleness in the caring of bees and then brings it into difficult conversations where the tendency is for both sides to get heated and overheated. An angry reaction solves nothing. In fact, in rare cases it may even lead to wars between nations.
First, meeting anger with gentleness takes time to learn. It’s actually a skill to be cultivated, meaning, we are naturally not made that way. Like learning to be gentle when handling bee hives, we can learn to be gentle with our words even when confronted by angry people. Perhaps having a pet may help as it is difficult to build a bond if we are rough and angry when dealing with our cat or dog.
Secondly, as gentleness is part of the fruit of the Spirit, we could seek God’s help to be gentle. That might be the most pertinent missing element. Have we ever asked the LORD to teach and help us to be gentle when dealing with people around us, our loved ones and colleagues? Gentleness will lead to kindness and compassion. It will make us a more wholesome and complete person although the day will come when we are able to see beyond our Calvary to be complete in Christ. In the meantime, let’s learn to be gentle in our words and deeds, asking the Holy Spirit to help us along!
