Anger

https://odb.org/2025/04/16/a-pastry-war

Ecclesiastes 7:9 – Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Married couples will bear witness that a small spark can quickly become a raging fire if both parties do not back down. That is why for a marriage to last, usually it is better for opposites to attract (like a magnet) than for both to have a similarly fiery demeanour. If the husband is the fierce type and the wife is non-confrontational, the likelihood that the marriage is peaceful is high, but it is also possible that the wife will always be bullied.

However, I think in the present society, it is less common to find non-confrontational women – women are now more eloquent, confident, and smart. Look at the public universities today. The male/female ratio for 2022 in Malaysian public universities was 39/61!

The best way to avoid conflicts, especially between married couples, is to walk away, more so if you’re the man and the aggressive one. This is because the possibility of the man inflicting harm is much higher. Ecclesiastes 3:9 teaches us not to be easily provoked. It means don’t easily get angry. If we are not angry, we need not walk away. We may remain calm and composed even when provoked. It’s a strong character trait we can be proud of in Christ if we are really able to control our anger when provoked.

We have probably read many news reports of how a sudden provocation can lead to dire consequences. A fight or an altercation may lead to someone being killed, and chances are the perpetrator may face the death penalty. Husbands and wives suffer unwanted deaths when a sudden provocation leads to a homicide. In criminal law, the defence of grave and sudden provocation can reduce a murder charge to a charge of culpable homicide not amounting to murder; in American parlance, from first to second degree murder. In Malaysian law, the reduction of the charge reduces the penalty from death to life imprisonment (means 20 years maximum). Sometimes, wars even start from trivial matters due to issues of anger and loss of face.

As a believer in Christ redeemed by the blood of Christ, I think the most important point we should remember is not to provoke our Father God to anger. God is super composed and abundantly patient. But even He is capable of anger even if He may be slowest being to ever be provoked to anger. Nevertheless, we must exercise restraint and caution in the way we live!

As we usher in Good Friday and Easter Sunday this week, exercise restraint and not be quickly provoked to anger for indeed anger resides in the laps of fools! Do not live by our emotions but by our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ!