Are you afraid of your calling?

https://odb.org/MY/2023/03/19/brother-saul

Are you like Ananias? Are you afraid of your calling? Jesus spoke to Ananias in a vision to go to Saul as Saul already had a vision that a man named Ananias would come and restore his sight. Yet Ananias was afraid and hesitant because Saul’s reputation had preceded him. He was known as a persecutor of the believers and had authority from the High Priest to arrest and bring them back to Jerusalem. But Christ assured Ananias that all will be well. Ananias took the step of faith, and in the years to follow, Saul, also known as Paul in Greek, became the force that propelled the Gospel forth to all Judea and across the Greek-speaking world of the Roman empire. Paul also fleshed out the detailed basis for the theology of the church as he wrote 13-14 of the 27 New Testament books. You will also notice that a lot of the pages in the book of Acts from Acts 9 onwards are dedicated to the missionary exploits and ministry of Paul.

I was also afraid of my calling when I was younger. I was afraid as someone had taught me that I had to choose between my career and my calling. But in the past 30 to 40 years, I had continued working while serving God in parallel. Over time, the fear disappeared and was replaced with the joy of serving. There was a patch of around 6 years when we used to travel 150km a Sunday (to and fro) to serve in music and minister in Word to a small congregation of believers. The thing is that we still own the same car that we used to travel on those days! It is now a 20-year-old workhorse! In those days, when we were travelling for church and work, we used to dream about owning a weekend home in the city. It was only much later that we managed to acquire another place in the city, and from last year, we started using that as our weekday home!

I think like Ananias, we need not be afraid of our calling in God. Just continue at it, and eventually, Jesus will find us an equilibrium that we are comfortable with. Jesus need not force Ananias to go to Saul at Judas’s house on Straight Street. Ananias hesitated for a moment but went ahead anyway and became the first person from the believers then to meet and heal the man who eventually became one of the greatest suferrer and also the most brilliant living testimony of Christ.

Pursue that calling God has placed in our hearts. Do not be afraid. God will give us the assurance and the rest, and we will find our joy in serving Him.

Today also marks the first anniversary of my dad’s passing. He is dearly missed by all of us who are still living, and we cherish those memories of him that are still etched in our minds, especially our last Chinese New Year celebrations together in 2022.