Brothers and Sisters in Christ

https://odb.org/MY/2022/10/27/sister-to-brother

We all know that in the church and ministry, we are all family with one another – brothers and sisters in Christ whether older or younger men or women. In 1 Timothy 5:1-2, Timothy exhorts us to treat the older men as our father, older women as our mother, younger men and women as our brothers and sisters in purity, meaning to say, we are all co-workers in the Kingdom of God and not objects of desire or love. There should be purity in the church although there is a place for relationships between single unmarried men and women.

Intimate relationships between married and unmarried believers or members of the church is against the fundamental teaching of the church that marriage is a life long commitment between one man and one woman. In ancient times, there were polygamous relationships but that was a different era and time when nations go into wars frequently and men got killed in the battlefield leaving widows and children behind to fend for themselves. Thus there was a need for families to be taken care of when men were usually the sole breadwinner then and most vocations were the domain of men. Thus there were rules then for blood brothers to take over the family of another brother who died. Polygamy was a necessity in those times but no more in these modern times of equal rights and women flourishing in the workforce. In fact women outnumber men in universities and colleges nowadays and in public universities, the ratio can be as high as 60/40 since admission is not based on gender but our examination results.

At the practical level, counseling should be done based on gender and at most between couples and the counselled. This will avoid issues of getting emotionally involved with the person we are counselling or advising or mentoring. This is practiced strictly in my local church – we do not encourage inter-gender mingling unless in a group setting to avoid unnecessary complications which may throw the church into disrepute. But in the end, the best way to avoid wrongful relationships and sin is still to follow 1 Timothy 5:1-2 and to treat every other believer as family like a father, mother, brother and sister. I will add every believer is our partner and co-worker in ministry. Our first and foremost objective is to serve God and fulfil His plans and purposes for our lives and for the church. Relationships may still be important if we are single and unmarried as it may be God’s will for us to have a life partner/spouse but everyone should tread with purity and caution so that we always maintain our holiness and righteousness before God.