Obituary: Mr Michael Lim (5 May 1942 – 19 March 2022)

EULOGY MICHAEL LIM

For those of you who are close to my father and I, you will know that although we loved each other very much, we were not physically affectionate or that close to one another. I would say that we are certainly not as close as me and my Ivan and Daniel.

As I reflect and think about this as to why we were like that – I guess this was because I didn’t grow up in that manner with him. When it came to our “father and son” relationship, the dynamic was that we didn’t speak that much when I was growing up. So, there was always a little gap in our communication. When we spoke, it was very much on a “need to” basis. For example, I always joked and teased my mum, and play with her, but I never did that with my dad, not even once; when I was growing up or even when I became an adult.

Having said that, my relationship with my dad wasn’t bad in reality as he did include me in the things that he liked to do. So, before I was even 6 years old in Pasir Puteh, Kelantan he used to take me go fishing for big prawns at the river in our little town. He used to fish, and I would watch and help him take care of his catch. We used to have a feast of nice big prawns every weekend!

My father’s first posting after Teacher’s Training College was to Pasir Puteh, Kelantan in 1964 at the tender age of 22 and he married my mum around that time too in 1964. I was born 4 years later in 1968 in Ipoh, Perak (being the first child, my mum flew back to her hometown to deliver me) and I lived in Pasir Puteh after my birth. I do know that Pastor Sharene Thoo, my missionary cousin, used to stay with us during the school holidays to help my mum care for me while we were in Pasir Puteh. I think Sharene was probably around 9 or 10 then and I was maybe around 4 or 5!

One thing you all may not know but people in Pasir Puteh know this very well – my dad was a well-known football referee. He didn’t play the game as such – he ardently played badminton. But he was a referee for many years. My classmates and friends who played football all knew him as “Cikgu Michael – repri bola” (in the local Kelantenese dialect).

When I was around 6, my dad managed to get a transfer back to Perak (not to his hometown Ipoh, but to a town called Sitiawan, an hour’s drive away). That was in late 1973 and we stayed there until late 1979 before he got a transfer back to Pasir Puteh in 1980 for the second time and I did my Primary 6 until my Upper Six in Pasir Puteh, Kelantan.

When he was in Sitiawan, he was very involved in scouting and was a very active scoutmaster. He used to take me along for his weekly school scout meetings and also camping trips with his boy scouts even though I was studying in another school. So, I learned scouting since Standard Two although in my ACS Primary School, you can only join the Boy Scouts when you’re in Standard Four. Like refereeing, he was very faithful and diligent at scouting, going for jamborees and scouting trips all over Perak.

On his last fishing trip in Sitiawan, Perak before we went back to Pasir Puteh, Kelantan for the second time, I remembered going out to sea with him. We were fishing in and around a place called Pulau Sembilan, just off the coast of Manjung. I was 10 or 11 then and it was one of the best experiences I had with him as my dad. We caught some fish and the guys cooked them on board for us to eat and until today, I will remember that meal as the best fish meal that I ever had. The fish was just freshly caught and it was simply out of this world! I still remember this vividly after more than 40 years! A storm later came, and as the sea was rough and dangerous, we had to land at a small island to take refuge and we spent the night together as father and son at the beach to tide over the storm.

In my 50 over years here on earth with him as my father, he saved my life twice! Once when I nearly fell into a monsoon drain at the edge of my little town when it was raining heavily and where the drain flowed into the river (my sister distinctly recalled this incident), and at another time when I fell into a freshwater pond, and he lifted me up straight away.

The last phase of my youth with him was our time back in Pasir Puteh the second time. As I said before, I was there from Primary 6 to Upper Six and in those 8 years before I went to University Malaya in PJ to pursue my tertiary education and later embark on my career; it was a time when God touched his life, it was the time when Jesus came into his life. This second time in Pasir Puteh, Kelantan was extra special and I believe divinely arranged by God as my whole family accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord – starting with me at first then my sister, then my dad and mum. It was also the start of my father’s involvement in ministry and church, I would say for close to the 40 years of his 80 years of life here on earth.

The thing which stood out for me about my dad’s involvement in ministry and church was his dedication and faithfulness to the cause. The same way he was dedicated and faithful to refereeing and scouting before he knew Christ, he demonstrated the same dedication and faithfulness to God’s work. Even my son, Ivan, commented on Friday night (18 March 2022) how he remembered his Ah Kong having been so faithful taking the National Service bible studies with Brother Moses and Pastor Lydia, week in week out, without fail, 10 to 11 years back. For the past more than 15 years since joining WFA, he has been active in his Life Group, and I believe his Life Group members have been blessed by his dedication, leading and his prayers. In fact just hours before he was admitted to the Emergency Ward on Friday afternoon (18 March 2022), he was still counselling his Life Group members over WhatsApp.

When my late mum was alive, she and my dad used to pray for our family and that was crucial as I used to often travel overseas then, with Huey Mian working and yet taking care of the boys at home. When my late mum left us, my dad then started to pray for us. With him having left us now, we now need to start praying for our family ourselves.

For the past 13 years since he had his heart attack in September 2009 after our first trip overseas as a family to Hong Kong (after the passing of my late mum in April 2009), we can truly see the goodness of God in his life. God saved him during his heart attack. Sister Phoebe told us how bad the ECG charts were when he was first admitted, but by the next day everything turned good like a miracle, and he survived and lived on for nearly another 13 years since 2009. He was examined by the National Heart Institute and didn’t require any stents or by-pass surgeries (only blood thinning medication). I am thankful and grateful to God for those 13 years. In those 13 years, he got to know my step-mum, Jenny Lee, and married her in September 2010 (exactly one year after his heart attack), and Jenny really took care of him not only his health but his appearance as well (as my wife put it, transformed him from head to toes). God had given him a new lease of life, a second chance at life in 2009 and I am grateful that God brought Jenny into his life. It feels like my dad was somewhat like King Hezekiah whom God extended the King’s life for another 15 years!

For the past 3 years plus since January 2019, since we discovered his medical conditions from his ischemic bowels to his colon cancer, to his abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA), we had all taken turns to care for him when he was first admitted to hospital in Segamat and later in Johor Bahru, took him to Hospital Tuanku Ja’afar, Seremban for his regular SOPD and MOPD appointments, saw him though his two surgeries, took him to Institut Kanser Negara for his cancer appointments, took him to Serdang Hospital for his AAA appointments. I still remember the fear and uncertainty he had when he was wheeled in for his first surgery at the JB General Hospital to remove his ischemic bowels and colon cancer. I held his hand and kissed him on his forehead and cheeks before he was wheeled into the OT. The church prayed for him then and he made it through alive! Praise the Lord for His goodness and grace!

On his AAA, in the end, he made the decision with our support not to go through the surgery to repair it as it would have resulted in him losing both his kidneys and to spend the rest of his days on dialysis. Also, he may not survive that complex surgery which was expected to take at least 8 hours. My classmate, Joo Seng, an orthopaedic surgeon, agreed that it was the right decision to take as he could have sufferred a stroke while on the OT and thus, in addition to the dialysis, he could have been paralysed. He took the risk that his AAA may rapture at any time and that day came too suddenly on Friday evening (18 March 2022) when we were all the least prepared. We had all hoped that he would live for another 5 years but God loved him more to call him home earlier than we had expected.

In closing, I just like to say that at the last moments of his life, I managed to be at his side – when I arrived at the hospital, he gripped my hand tightly, glad and happy that I made it to see him, and I am glad and happy too that I managed to see him, and thank God for His grace and mercy in this regard. I tested positive for Covid on 10th March 2022 and although my seven-day quarrantine would have ended on 16th March, I had messed up on my MySejahtera reporting and was thus still red on Friday 18th March 2022. Fortunately my wife, Huey Mian, asked the doctor on duty and he approved that I drop by to see my dad since I had already served my 7-day quarantine period. I just needed to wear double masks and gloves.

My last words to him were “It’s OK, Pa – you go ahead first”, meaning to say, we will see him again on that day. It broke my heart to see him struggling to catch his breath but I knew that Christ welcomed him into His loving arms when he breathed his last.

I like to end with 2 Timothy 4:7-8 – “He has fought the good fight, he has finished the race, he has kept the faith. Now there is in store for him the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award him on that day, not only to him, but also to all who have longed for His appearing”.

I praise the Lord for the determination and dedication shown by my dad for Christ over the last 40 years and I pray that my wife and I and my children, Ivan and Daniel, my step mum, Jenny and my sister and her family will emulate him and demonstrate the same determination and dedication to Christ in our lives!

Akong’s Eulogy (By My Eldest Son, Ivan Lim)

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone for coming to my grandfather’s funeral; regardless of how close your relationships were, I’m sure he’s been a positive influence in your lives one way or another.

Ever since I was young, my Akong has been a beacon of light shining bright in this dark world. I remember him spreading the gospel every week in a youth military camp, leading life group sessions, bringing new members into the kingdom of Christ, going to church to serve our Lord every single week in addition to praising, praying and worshipping him in his daily life. Despite his old age, his enthusiasm towards Christ never slowed down, in fact, if anything, he became even more passionate towards him, evident in his actions. He’s an example that I hope to follow, that no matter how old or frail we get, our love towards Christ stays the same as the first day we decided to accept and serve him.

My Akong was a great man who always cooked for us all these years; I remember his beef rendang dish that I’ve always specifically craved and his knife skills which were always so impressive to watch. Going even further back in time, I remember playing badminton with him in my backyard and sleeping with him on his iconic “pillow” which was a “soda beng tin container”. I also remember sitting in his old Proton Saga with barely any air-cond as he fetched me home from school, and 10 years later I had the privilege of returning the favour by fetching him back home from the hospital with my own car.

Moving forward in time, my Akong celebrated every single one of my birthdays and still messaged me with lovely messages even though I’m currently continents away. I could always feel his love and care despite being so far away in a foreign land. I will always miss those memories being in his company every birthday, every Chinese New Year, every Sunday in church and in his lovely home.

Despite not ever being able to see him again, I thank God that I was able to have such a supportive grandfather who gave me encouragement in my business, studies, in remembering Christ and just my life in general. I thank God that I was able to be his grandchild and that I was able to see him one last time before I left Malaysia.

His bright smile alongside his warm hug will always be the last memory that I have of him and I will always remember him saying, “All the best Ivan in your studies, Akong and Aunty Jenny loves you.“

To everyone, our family are and always will be the most important people in our lives; always remember to visit your parents, grandparents, aunty, uncles; you never know when it would be the last day you ever see them and don’t wait till it’s too late to only remember everything you’ve taken for granted.

I’d also like to take this chance to thank aunty Jenny for taking care of Akong all these years. Without you, he would’ve not been even close to how happy he was when he was with you. You gave him unconditional love which gave him his second push in life and I’m forever grateful for that. I pray that God gives you the strength that helps you, in addition to all of us through his passing and know that we will be here for you no matter what.

From witnessing the type of man that my Akong was, I’m sure that he’s in heaven right now with our Lord Jesus Christ watching over all of us. Instead of just feeling sad about his death, let’s all remember the great man that he was and appreciate all that he has done for us.

Whenever we miss him, let’s all look up in the skies and remember our favourite memory of him so that his love towards us will never ever fade from our hearts. 

Love you Gong, from you eldest grandchild, Ivan.